Well here we are again back into deep space, where the the folks fight for a throne and politics are the dish of the day. So I am going to go into this review as my son would have experienced it and not as a super overexcided middle aged man seeing the wonderful SciFi stories of his youth retold. Well here we are and it is "Game of Thrones in Space", where Jon Snow is a super skinny and spoiled kid who seems to be having mushroom hallucinative type dreams and really needs to eat more and get a little time with some free weights. I am not sure he is trying to be the next ruler of his planet or trying out for the next K-pop band. Ok, more seriously, what is up with all the 18th century victorian decor? How did we in the year 10,000 get back to corset, elaborate nun's, and nutcraker soldier uniforms. Also seriously an Emperor? what happened to Democracy, I assume it also died out. But regardless the asthetics are quite pleasing and watching this on a 50+ foot screen with Dolby Atmos really sold it well. The Constume, architecture, and heck the crazy spaceships were a wonderful sight to belhold. I was truly in awe of all that nice oiled wooden furniture, marble, and well dressed tea time finery dress. The cinematographer, art and sound direction was top notch. Now we get to the nasty part, the pacing... up you heard me the pacing... I mean the crawling more like it. Seriously people how can there be like 15-20 min of actual action in a scifi action/adventure movie in 2.5 hrs. I mean I love the good Dad and Son talk at a cemerery at Sun Down, but come on, the cliche talk and the slow pace of that scene. Honest to goodness truth, my Son's best friend who we invited litteraly feel asleep at that scene, and man seriously who can blame him. Yeah , yeah we going to the super dry desert planet, bad bad. And we still have to have the slow ass welcoming ceremony with the papyrus wax seal for what? the School of Hogwarts? And while I am on the "chosen one" topic, come on. Seriously, a young good hearted man, who will see great suffering, but through acceptance and redemption will kick butt and save the world? ahem..let me begin: Jesus, Ender, All Marvel men, Harry Potter, Neo, Parsival, Alex from the Laststarfighter, Luke Skywaker, on and on.. at least Rey was a girl in the later star wars. I am not gonna lie, I typically dont care too much for Karl Drago/Aquaman, but he really pulled it off in this movie, his badassery was a great addition to the cast. The Stellan Kasgard character is just Java the Shutt with motor oil and a jetpack in his bum, he did not have much to do. And Drax just being angry, was not a treat, some jokes would have been nice. And if I had to see Mary Jane in a night vision dream one more time... I get it I get it, she is important, she is the love interest, but seriouly 5+ fuzzy dreams in the movie to remind us? And seriously we are to believe that this skinny kid who cannot even beat an old man with fake knives beats a veteran warrior desert race guy in like 5 min. And can we also mention the creepy part where we gonna drink this guy's blood, pee, and sweat through a britta filter after we get his dead body back to camp? Also would not a worm be full of good watery goodness, why not when riding them, put in a spigot and a good couple of 5 gallon jugs ? Anyhow all kidding aside, I loved the action scenes and will totally go back and the the "part 2" which the audience literraly groaned about in the end. I cannot decice that the slow pace is to really let us relive every page of the original book, or is is a cheap grab for our non-movie attending wallet? see yah next time... space kings, and let the Spice Flow !!!
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